A Quirk

            Breathing a sigh of relief to be out of the complex, the Mercenary cracked the seal and removed her helmet.  Her black, shoulder length hair was matted with sweat and stuck to her forehead.  She had a beautiful face that matched her body.  Her eyes were of deep blue and sparkled in the bridge lighting.  A small scar ran from beneath her left eye towards her ear; a reminder of her first mission as a soldier of fortune.

            The console beeped at her and she glanced at the message: 

Praetorian MK III Main System: Boot Completed. 

Vitals Normal… 

Exiting REM state… 

Change Command Interface Y/N...Y…Completed.

            Suddenly, a male voice spoke up as if groggy from a long sleep.  “Mmm, what the hell…?”

            The voice seemed to come from everywhere.  The Merc jumped out of the chair and drew her sidearm.  “Who’s there?!”

            “Um, excuse me…this is obviously not the military hangar.  Where the hell am I?”

            “Hell if I know.  Who are you?”  The Mercenary moved in crouched style checking compartments and behind the ladder to the upper deck for the stowaway. 

            “I don’t have to answer that question.  Do you know that it’s considered rude to not introduce yourself first before asking another’s name?  I can see you, you know,” the voice laughed.  “I’m not behind the ladder.”

            A chill ran up the spine of the Merc and she spun looking back over the empty bridge.  “Where are you hiding?  This is my ship now.”

            “The hell it is.  I don’t belong to anyone, and especially not you.  Although, I do remember being told I was Military property at some point.  Hah!” the voice chuckled at the thought.

            “Property?  Wait a second, are you telling me you’re the plane?” the Merc asked incredulously. 

            “Heh.  You’re a weird one and obviously confused.  No, I’m not the plane.  Then again, it’s not like you’d understand even if I told you.  Now, if you answer my question, I’ll answer yours.”

            The Merc stood up.  She was definitely confused.  Her contact had told her that the plane was equipped with an ultra-advanced computer/control system so that the plane could fly itself indefinitely without human crew.  Maybe this voice was the computer.  If she was to get the plane to where the buyer was waiting, she would need the computer to follow her commands. 

“Then you’re this craft’s computer?”

            “Mmm...yes…and no.”

            “Can you be any less cryptic?” she was getting agitated at the game.

            “Not until you start giving me some answers Mercenary.”

            “I can’t tell you where we’re going.  Sorry.”  She wasn’t sorry in the slightest.

            “In that case, can I have you’re name?  I’m Gavin.”

            “Gavin?  Who the hell are you?”

            “Hmm, how should I put this…”  Gavin seemed to be thinking a moment.  “I was the chief designer in charge of Artificial Intelligence for the Protector project.  It seems they changed the name since I was installed.”

            “Installed?”

            “Yes.  I can’t give you any more details though, sorry.”  He didn’t seem sorry in the slightest.  After a moment hesitation as if the computer was contemplating something, he said “Here, maybe this will help you open up and maybe at least give me your name if you won’t tell me the destination.”  A noise hissed from the back of the bridge and a metal sphere with a center fisheye camera lens floated over in front of the Mercenary.

            “This is my Remote; my eyes and ears.  I have several of these things for maintenance.”  The voice was now coming from the sphere instead of everywhere.  Gavin was obviously patched into the plane’s internal systems.  “Now, where am I going?”

            “I told you I can’t tell you that.  If you’re this ship’s computer, I’m going to need you to unlock the Navicomputer so that I can plot a star course.”  Then after a moment, she added, “The name’s Kella.”

            Without seeming to hear the last bit, the Remote tilted sideways giving the impression Gavin was thinking.  “Hmmm, how should I put this….no.”

            “No?”  Kella was taken off guard by the response.  “No what?”

            “You are a weird one.  You just told me to do something, and my answer is no.”  Suddenly Kella realized he was saying ‘no’ to her accessing the Navicom. 

            “What do you mean no.  This isn’t negotiable!”

            “Like hell it isn’t.  It seems you’re not quite understanding something.  You might have had control over this aircraft while I was waking up, but now that I’m up that’s over.  I’m flying the plane, sister.”

            “Wha-“ Kella ran over to the pilot’s chair and jumped in.  She tried to move the yoke, but it wouldn’t budge.  She started tapping on the console for system access when it flashed “Nope.  No access for you” on the screen.  She let out a growl of frustration.

            “Temper, temper there, little sellsword.  This is what happens when you don’t play fair.  Now, where we goin’?”

            Kella ran her hand through her hair slicking it back.  “I can’t tell you that—“  The plane suddenly nose dived and she lifted from her seat a couple inches with the effect of partial gravity.  Then, just as suddenly, the plane came back up slamming her down into the seat hard.  “Ow!” she exclaimed rubbing her rump.

            “What was that, mercenary?  Didn’t quite catch that…”

            “I can’t tell you dammit!”  The plane bucked again and she fell hard a second time.  “Dammit!  Alright!  I’ll tell you!  Just let me have access to the—“  This time the plane banked hard to the left throwing her to the right and almost out of the chair.  “Alright, enough!  I just said I’d tell you!”

            “That last one wasn’t me, darling.  We’ve got company.  There’s a duo of Military Cavs out there taking pot shots.  Apparently they want me back.  Unfortunately, I’m not fully equipped with anti-Cav weaponry since someone rescheduled my launch time.  Is that your Cav I see in the bay?  Mind taking it out and killing those Military flies for me?  It doesn’t help you either getting blown out of the sky.” 

As if in response, the radio crackled to life, “Mercenary aboard the stolen Praetorian, land immediately, or you will be fired upon.  This is your last warning,” and then a laser blast lit the cockpit a deep purple. 

“I’m taking that as the last warning shot,” Gavin concluded.  “I guess they’d rather lose me then let you have it.  Tough luck, Kiddo.”

            “How many out there?” Kella said, calculating her remaining power and ammo.

            “The radar says two, but there’s probably a third in the sensor shadow if they’re following their regs.”

            “Fine, I’ll go take them out.  You’d better let me back in when I get back.”

            “You have my word, sellsword.” Gavin replied a little too quickly.  “And that’s as good as you’re probably going to get as we really don’t have enough time right now to delve into the whole trust issue.”

            “Tch, fine,” she grunted.  “Your word it is,” and she ran up the stairs and down the neck towards the cargo bay.

            Gavin’s Remote floated over to the Pilot’s chair and landed in the seat.  The console switched back on, and several screens flicked superhumanly past as Gavin activated the self-defense measures.  He wasn’t equipped to fight Cav’s but he was equipped to handle incoming missiles and machine gun fire.

            “Ok, I’m in the Cargo Bay.  Open it up,” came Kella’s voice over the comm.. 

            “Go get ‘em, Mercenary,” Gavin said as he activated the rear cargo door.  With the door open, Kella let her mech fall out the back.  A pair of wings unfolded from the backpack and a small version of the Patterson Drive Emitter kicked into life firing its trademark purple spiral of energy out between the wings.  Kella flipped a one-eighty and headed for the military Cavs.  Moments later, the sky lit up with fireworks. 

            Gavin took this chance to fire his banks of PDEs into full-bore and streaked off into the distance; away from the battle, the crazy Mercenary girl, and the military.  He’d had enough being an airplane’s brain.  It was high time he found someone to unplug him. 

            Meanwhile, Kella, busy with the Cavs, saw the spirals off in the distance and began screaming over the radio.  There was no response from the Praetorian.